Dark Humor Christmas Cards That Will Amuse You

People who like to sway away from the traditional cards will be amused to receive one of these dark humor Christmas cards with their gift.

Christmas cards don’t have to be all that serious.

You probably have a friend or family member who would rather receive one of these dark humor Christmas cards at which you all can laugh together.

Caution! Dark humor Christmas cards. Humor required!


“Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

The fun time of the Holiday season is the decoration. We all feel the pain when we take the lights out of the box and they’re all tangled up. There is probably that one person who always keeps trying to get out of that chore. Someone who always passes the task on to the next person, because: Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Dark humor Christmas cards. Ain't nobody got time for that. Tangled lights.

More or less

“I’d have gotten you a more impressive gift if you weren’t already sleeping with me.”

There seems to be no need to impress the loved one anymore in this relationship. If that’s the case you’ll benefit from the best love quotes that explain love, hand you some cheesy pickup lines, and tell you all you need to know about men and women.No love lost

“Merry Christmas. Just kidding. Go f*ck yourself.”

This card is for someone you share a “special” relationship with. I hope this person has a good sense of humor.

Dark times

“Christmas (noun). The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.”

Dark times require dark humor Christmas cards. Maybe this card will bring back some joy. If you need something to cheer up a friend, show them this video of a baby elephant sneezing.


“tis the season to get shitfaced.” This is a great card to send out with the Christmas party invitations. You might also like to attach some humorous motivational Quotes. It’ll lighten up the party for sure.

New antlers

Say it with antlers.


“Go stick your dirty carrot in someone else.”

Stay out of my business? Say it with cards.


This one is for the grumpy people who don’t like the festivities. Or is it the snow?


Say it with emojis. Good wishes are so overrated.

No surprise

“I hope you love the Christmas present you told me to buy for you.”

Getting people what they are asking for is the best way to show that you care. Now there is a card to go with it.

No favorite

“Happy Christmas to Mum and Dads second favorite child.”

Parents always have a favorite, don’t they? There is no need to add a name to this one.

Warm and fuzzy

“Pretend this holiday card says something warm and fuzzy. Or don’t. I don’t give a shite.”

When you’re not the warm and fuzzy type of person, but you have to play the game… There are dark humor Christmas cards for any occasion and mood.

Throw away card

“I spent a long time choosing the perfect holiday card that will look so pretty in your garbage.”

Are there actually still people out there who collect and save the cards they receive each year?

Best wishes

“Have a mediocre holiday, human.”

Cat lovers will love this card. I can already see the cats in the trees, and playing with the decorations. Take a look at these cats who totally think they are human. Don’t forget to share these cards.


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