People say funny things when they’re in and out of love. These are the best love quotes that explain love, hand you some cheesy pickup lines, and tell you all you need to know about men and women. How do you tell someone you’re in love? What happens in a relationship? Are you unlucky in the matters of the heart?
In love and life you need to keep a sense of humor. It can’t be serious all the time. Love can be beautiful and romantic, but it can also bring heartbreaks. Love is complicated, and humor and love make an excellent combination. Humor can get you in a relationship, and it can keep a relationship alive.
If you are still single or just came out of a bad relationship, humor will keep you from taking it too hard. Since humor is healthy for everyone, here are some love quotes for you so you can enjoy the lighter side of love. Let’s start out with some explanations about what love is.
What is love?
I’m not even going to try and explain what love is. The dictionary explains that love is an intense feeling of deep affection. But people define love differently. That’s why they show it differently, and have different expectations of what it should feel like. Basically, nobody really knows what love is unless they’ve been in love. Maybe these “expert” love quotes can help clear things up for you.
Killing the senses
“Love is the 7th sense that destroys all the 6th senses and makes the person believe non-sense.” In other words, love is totally blind and deaf.
“Love is a weird thing. Like you just pick a human and you’re like yes I like this one… I’ll let this one ruin my life forever.”
If it’s forced, it’s not love
“Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. If it’s not love, the relationship won’t work. At least one partner is unhappy.
Brain letting you down
“The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year from birth until you fall in love.” When Cupid’s arrow strikes us, we totally lose our objective, and often our touch to reality. We’re not thinking clearly anymore. All we do is feel… and dream.
Let it out
“Love is… not having to hold your farts in anymore.” That’s quite a stinky affair. I would call it a downside of love.
Love causes amnesia
“Love = a form of amnesia when a girl forgets there are 1.2 billion other boys in the world.” This actually goes for both genders. But love always hits girls harder than boys. Must be that motherly, nurture gene.
Now that you have a better understanding what love is all about, we’ll go on to a few hilarious, and at times a bit offensive sounding pickup lines. Remember not to take it too serious.
Pickup lines love quotes
You’re out in a bar or at a store somewhere and you peek someone’s peeks interest. How do they approach you to get a conversation going? Instead of making small talk, like talking about the weather, they just get straight to the point.
No chit-chat, and no cheesy “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” pickup lines. He or she tries to pick you up with one of the following pickup lines. Is it an ice breaker, or a deal breaker?
Someone to cuddle
“I lost my teddy, will you sleep with me?” Sounds very strange coming from someone you’ve just met. Almost a bit creepy. I mean… what grown up sleeps with a teddy?
“I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.” You better consult your inner doctor and check if you’re indeed in need of this vitamin.
Looking good on you
“Do you know what would look good on you? Me!” Ahem.. I prefer some jewelry and nice clothes.
Cute butt.. eh… hug
“Get you’re cute butt over here and give me a fucking hug.” This one is kind of cute. I would totally give out a hug or two.
“On a scale of 1 to 10: You’re a 9 & I’m the 1 you need.” Okay. Can we clarify first what it is exactly we’re rating here? Is it my incredible good looks? My outstanding personality? Where exactly does this person fit in to bring it up to 10?
Making an effort
“I’d shave my legs for you,” says that she really has a crush on you. Any woman can attest to that.
Get out the first aid kit
“Do you have a band-aid? Cuz I just scraped my knee falling 4 you.” This one’s just as bad as the “fallen angel” line. As you can see, even funny pickup love quotes can get cheesy. A sense of humor is not the same for everyone. Therefore someone will laugh even about the cheesiest of cheesy pickup lines. To show you why there are so many misunderstandings between men and women let us move on to the next sections with love quotes talking about the differences.
All you need to know about men and women
How do they say? Men are from Mars and women are from Venus? This comes pretty close to the truth. Men and women are different in many more aspects than just chromosomes. This goes far beyond the X and Y factor. According to science, men and women are not just physically different, but also mentally.
Is it therefor much of a surprise that we also feel and express our love for each other differently? As a matter of fact, our way of thinking is so different that it is sometimes difficult to understand each other. Here are some love quotes that show how we see each our differences in gender. Spoken with true love, of course.
Watch out for the snowstorm
“Men are like snowstorms. You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long he will last.” Ouch.
Sexy is as sexy does
“You know what’s sexier than a bad boy? A grown ass man with his shit together.” Sounds about right.
Seeing things different
“Men look at a woman’s behind and go, ‘Wow! What an ass!’ Women look at a man’s face and think the same.”
Why you’re still single
“Single (noun). A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen.” Men are learning the hard way to make their own damn sandwiches.
Pleasing a woman vs a man
“How to please a woman: Love her. Die for her. Take her to dinner. Miss the game for her. Buy her jewelry. Be interested in what she has to say… How to please a man: Show up naked. Bring Beer.”
Shopping with different motives
“Men go shopping to buy what they want… Women go shopping to find out what they want.” That’s why men are a lot faster in and out of the stores, while women take forever to finish their shopping.
What women really want
“Men think women want flowers and chocolate for Valentines Day. Wrong, bitch — we want a man with a vibrating tongue.” Also no household appliances for Holidays, Birthdays and Anniversaries either. Got it?
You’re how old???
“Girls be 14, looking 18, acting 21. Guys be 21, looking 18, acting 14.” The differences between men and women really show when it comes to age. No wonder we need funny love quotes in our love life. If we wouldn’t nurture our sense of humor, our relationships would turn into a disaster.
“Girls express their feelings via tears. Boys express their feelings via beers.” I’m impressed. Someone was able to put into words how different we express our feelings.
We’re all faking it
“Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.” There you go. Now do you understand? Let’s see, you found the perfect person to fall in love with. Or, maybe you’re already head over heels with someone. Of course you want that lucky person know how you feel. Words don’t come easy when you’re nervous. That’s totally understandable. The next love quotes can help you with that.
When we fall in love
Here we are. Your I’m-so-happy neurotransmitters are releasing all sorts of stuff that cause butterflies bumping at each other inside your stomach. Your special someone is getting your heart thumping with every thought about them. You’re completely love-struck and your dial for desire is all the way cranked up.
Of course you want to confess your love not just with actions alone. You also want to say it out loud, or whisper it in their ear. Go ahead, read on, and get some pointers from the following love quotes.
“Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights, and all our lame jokes… I fell in love.” It wasn’t love at first sight, but a friendship can grow into more.
The love cake
“I love you like a fat kid loves cake.” Here it is. Love is an addiction just like eating can be.
Levels are rising
“You make my Dopamine levels go all silly.” That’s medical talk and translates to: The I’m-so-happy neurotransmitters are going haywire.
Glass wipers needed
“You steam up my glasses so hard.” That’s what happens when the heart rate goes up.
“I love your ass. Just sayin’.” Such a beautiful love quote for animal lovers. Hehe.
“I love you more than I love beer and I really love beer.” Nice touch, that dog tag I mean. Oh, yes. And the beer of course. If a man loves someone more than his beloved beer.. that’s love.
“You are dearer to me than all the bats in all the caves in the world.” I really loved that show.
Boobs are bigger
“I love you with all my boobs. I would say heart, but my boobs are bigger.” Even a big heart can be out sized by boobs. Just make sure the heart is in there too. Just sayin’.
Let’s hop on to the next page by clicking on 2 below. That is if you want to know what happens after you tie the knot. Or if you’re still single. And if you need some motivation in life, take a look at these funny motivational quotes.