Wine Lovers Beware Funny Wine Quotes Are Here

Wine lovers are going to enjoy these quotes. Have some funny wine definitions and justify wine for any occasion.

Wine is not just a drink. It’s a way of life. Not all wine lovers know what makes a good wine, and there is no need to. With so many varieties of wine, there’s a tasteful flavor for everyone. Wine pairs well with food and festivities. Romances are sweet with wine, and even if you’re single wine will sweeten your lonely evening.

Then are are people who don’t love wine at all. As a matter of fact, they believe wine is rubbish. Well, let’s take these quotes and convince them otherwise.

Fun fact: Wine is actually good for you. Science has shown that drinking wine keeps your heart strong, reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s disease, and provides you with happier gut bacteria. But that’s not all.It wards off diabetes and boosts your mood. Of course, like with everything that’s good for you, moderation is the key.

How wine lovers define wine

One could say, wine is an alcoholic drink made of fermented grapes. But that’s rather dry and boring. Besides, it doesn’t say much about all the … that come with it.

That’s why wine lovers came up with definitions that are way more explanatory. Take a look.

Drink your fruit

“Wine (win), noun. An alcoholic drink that is made from fermented grapes and therefore officially counts as a serving of fruit.” Remember the food pyramid? Fruit is right next to vegetables and salads. So it seems important.

Wined and dined

“Wine: (win), n. something that intoxicates or exhilarates; to provide or entertain with drink <wined and dined the dignitaries>.” Looks like a win, win situation to me.

Something that makes you exercise

“Winederlust. wine-der-lust / noun. – a strong desire to drink wines from around the world, or just the wines from your neighborhood shop.

Or even just the ones already in your apartment. OKAY IT IS THE DESIRE TO DRINK ANY WINE.” Spoken like true wine lovers.

Wine, wine, every day

It doesn’t really matter what day of the week it is, every day is Wineday for the committed wine lovers. If you need reasons to have a glass or two or more on holidays, no problem. We have them too. Read on.


“I wish wine went on clearance just like candy does after a holiday… like every Monday would be awesome.” It would turn the world upside down. Just imagine what would happen to all those “I hate Mondays” quotes. Wine lovers would start an entire new campaign of “looking forward to Monday” quotes.


“Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know, like a Tuesday.” If Tuesdays count for a survived another Monday special occasion, I’m all in.


“‘Hey, guess what day it is!? What day is it?,’ asks the camel. ‘Wine Wednesday.’ says grumpy cat”. Some people might say both are right. Middle of the week is always a day for celebration.


“Honey, are you cooking dinner tonight?…….. Hell no! It’s Thirsty Thursday!” Drinking the cooking wine….


“It’s Friday… time to be a hero and rescue some wine trapped in a bottle.” For wine lovers who don’t work on weekends, an entire bottle sounds really good on Fridays.


“Saturday Night: According to Facebook everyone is doing something awesome. I’m in my pajamas drinking WINE!” At a certain age we don’t need to go out anymore to enjoy a glass of wine on a Saturday.


“Sunday is my day of rest – and by that I mean it’s the day I drink the rest of my wine.” After an entire wine week there’s not much left on Sundays. Best drink drink up and get ready for the “clearance” Monday.

Let’s not forget about the holidays. While some holidays have a tradition of adding wine to the flavors of good food anyway, it doesn’t hurt to make sure everyone knows about it.

For the Wintery Wine holidays

wine lovers winter song

“Oh, the weather outside is frightful, The wine is so delightful, I have no place to go, Let it flow, Let it flow, Let it flow.” This song is like a ear worm now. Did you sing it?

Mothers Day Special

“Don’t forget to buy a bottle for mom. Mother’s Day Sunday 5/13. Remember, you’re the reason she drinks!” That’s a great selling point. Here mom. Have some chocolates and wine.

Will you be my Valentine?

“Yes. I will be your Valentine. I will comfort you after a bad day, I will enable you to express your deepest emotions, I will make you feel like you’re the most beautiful woman in the room. You can have me right now. Love, This bottle of Wine.” Valentine is not the same for wine lovers without their beloved flavor of wine. Wine makes many promises it intends to keep. Let the romance begin.

Next up we’ll see a philosophy that is surrounding every wine lovers community. Wine comparisons and more reasons to drink wine.

What philosophy? Wine philosophy!

Wine lovers who have seriously studied their love for wine gained knowledge through observations and experiences.

While spending time over endless glasses of wine in deep thought, they came up with incredible findings. Altogether simply termed the Wine philosophy.

How wine comes to be

“Great wine requires a madman to grow the vine, a wise man to watch over it. A lucid poet to make it, and a lover to drink it.” -Dali. So Dali was also a member of the wine lovers philosophers?

Trying to find the answer


“The answer may not lie at the bottom of a bottle of wine, but you should at least check.” Ahem… I forgot the question.



“‘I’ll drink to that.’ Me To Everything.” When you run out of answers and opinions…

Diet of wine

“Diet tip: If you think you’re hungry, you might just be thirsty. Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel.” How to conquer hunger. That must’ve taken some deep thoughts. But not deep enough. Because the more I drink wine, the more I want some cheese and crackers.

Hangovers are only temporary

“I’m never drinking again…… Oooh look! Wine.” First we need some bubble water, aka carbonated mineral water. Then we’re ready to go again.

Thinking about the bigger picture

“Save water, drink wine.” Hmm. How much water would we exactly save?

Makes you feel good

wine lovers

“Before wine: I hate everyone. After wine: I feel good about hating everyone.” Wine seems to free your conscience. No more bad feelings.

Wine is the new duct tape

“If it can’t be fixed with wine then you’re not using enough wine.” Or, if you can’t fix it with wine, it can’t be fixed.

Looking at the world through the eyes of wine

“The world looks better through rosé colored glasses.” I have to admit. The world does look better. Although only temporary.

How words came to be

“If you combine wine and dinner the new word is winner.” Wine lovers are like pot smokers when it comes to deep thoughts. Who would’ve thought that the word winner has a double meaning.

Buying happiness

“Money doesn’t buy happiness unless you spend it on wine.” I never thought money can’t buy happiness. Ask poor people how much happier they would be if they had money.

Here come the poems

Wine creates poets. “Inspiration thru fermentation.” as a wise person maned Kokomo once said. Especially the ones that rhyme with wine. Read the works of wine lovers turned poets.

Roses are red…

“Roses are red. Wine is also red. Poems are hard. Wine.” I never said words come easy. Except for wine. The word wine comes easy.

Are you feeling motivated yet? Have a laugh at these humorous motivational quotes.

Getting more wine

“Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy. But here’s my wine glass. So fill it maybe?” I should try that and see if it works.


Wine also makes you opinionated. Actually we all are opinionated. Some more than others. But wine allows even the shy among us to speak up.

What men are like

“Men are like fine wine. They start out like grapes and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.”

I wonder if that works. Some wine lovers seem to think so.

Wine offers more

“A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world… oh sorry.. that’s wine.. wine does that..” Right!? I don’t think there are that many men around that make a woman feel that way all at once.

Only wine creates great stories

“‘So this bitch…’ The start to any amazing wine fueled drunken story.” Wine, oh wine.

Random quotes

Here are just some random quotes thrown in as a bonus because… wine.

Why wine?

“If anyone asks I’m drinking all this wine to collect corks for a project I saw on Pinterest.”

The phobia

“Novinophobia. The fear of running out of wine.”


“W.I.N.O.S. Women in need of sanity.”

After all this wine, are you ready to take a poll?

Should we drink wine tonight? A) Yes, B) A, C) B.

Make sure to share these awesome wine quotes with all your wine lover and wine hater friends. With all this wine you might be ready for some funny love quotes. (Sense of humor required. Wine should take care of that.) Before you go make sure to follow us on our Facebook page.





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